Individual shadow work sessions
Individual shadow work sessions
What issues can I bring?
What issues can I bring?
Alasdair Kirk
Shadow Work, Counselling &
Experiential Psychotherapeutic Process
What to expect in shadow work sessions
"Bowing to your pain, wisdom, and resilience. Let’s walk together in ruthless joy."​
Pat McCabe
Getting clear exactly what you want from the session
Shadow work offers the container for a deep dive into whatever it is that you want to explore: this could be any current or historic pattern or issue that you wish to look into to find clarity, resolution or healing.
Individual shadow work sessions last between 2 and 5 hours. The first session is typically five hours with a free follow-up 20-minute integration call a week or so following the session. The longer length of the sessions I offer makes a huge difference to the therapeutic experience, allowing a level of safety to emerge for you within which you are able to settle into deep exploration of whatever it is that you are bringing. The duration and frequency of your ongoing sessions is decided by you and will be informed by your needs and where we are in our journey of working together.
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You may choose to begin your sessions with a guided meditation to help you land in the space and ground you. We will then move into a conversation about what you would like to explore and we will spend some time getting clear exactly what you want from the session: the inner shift or the experience that you are looking for.
I'll make a written note of this 'want' and this will be used to guide the work for the rest of the session. This ensures that the session is following your agenda and what you want from the session. We will then talk through any previous experiences or events in your life that may be relevant to the work we’re going to do.
Maybe you don't know what exactly you want but have a sense that things are stuck and not in a good place. If this is the case we will have a deep and broad discussion about how you live your life: what works really well and what doesn’t, what areas of life flow and which ones are stuck, what is the focus in the foreground and what is neglected in the background?
If it is useful for you, we may draw on the lens of the archetypes as a map to explore your psyche. In this way we will uncover what is alive for you and you will naturally see what it is that you want to have happen.
Identification of parts & the multiplicity of the psyche
When working with the psyche and our complex web of inner and outer relationships, I make use of the concept that we are all made up of sub-personalities or parts. The emerging view of the psyche is one of multiplicity: we are not in fact just 'one mind' but a collection of individual parts, voices, energy systems, sub-personalities, complexes or inner-selves: that we actually have inside us an inner community, and this is our natural healthy state.
Parts are the energies that developed within us in response to the environments, experiences and people that have impacted us in our lives. Parts are a collection of thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs and ways of being. People are naturally using this understanding in everyday life when they say things like ‘Part of me is really happy to be leaving for new horizons, but part of me is sad that I will not be here with you all.’
Parts can be thought of as holding differing points of view and most of us will be familiar with being able to hold different points of view around the same issue. Explicitly approaching parts in shadow work helps us to give form to these different energies, bringing awareness to these aspects of our personality.
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For an in depth overview of 'parts' and the 'multiplicity of the psyche', see here.
Symbolic representation
When exploring the shadow, we make use of a central carpet in the room as a metaphor to represent your inner world or psyche - that is, a place where we can represent the parts showing up in whatever current or historic issue we are exploring, and also a place where we can represent other people or in fact anything else that is relevant to your work: this could be a dream, an organisation, a group, an idea, concept, or story. These people and these parts are symbolically represented on the carpet using coloured pieces of fabric as 'place holders'.
And so we embark on a process together of representing and exploring on the carpet all the different parts of you that you think are relevant to the issue you are wanting to explore, and it is you that chooses each time which part of you it is that you want to find out more about.
Parts work - Accessing unconscious thoughts, feelings, beliefs
​As we move through our life and its busyness we are constantly blending and unblending with our inner parts. We do this unconsciously, below our level of awareness as we move through different environments, experiences, and between different people.
In a shadow work session we bring intentionality into the space, separating out and representing the parts with an intention to bring a new awareness, to bring some clarity to the confusion.
You will be physically active and invited to ‘step in’, to move towards, explore and take on the energies of these parts of you, speaking from these parts of you, inhabiting and embodying the part, getting to know this aspect of you intimately and experiencing the energies and emotions, thoughts, feelings and beliefs hidden there.
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So for example if you wanted to explore a part of you that felt upset in a recent meeting with your boss at work, you will be invited to choose a colour to represent that part of you and place it on the carpet where you imagine it to live in your inner world.
The invitation will then be for you to go to that spot on the carpet and allow yourself to embody, to 'become' and speak from that upset part of you, allowing all other parts of you to fall away just for a few moments, so that we can speak directly to this one part of you and get to know much more about it.
This separating out of the psyche, stepping into a part and directing attention internally, brings into awareness the thoughts, feelings and beliefs of that part.​ The work is experiential, meaning that it involves stepping into these parts of the self in order to fully experience them.
Returning back to your seat once the exploration of the part has come to a natural end, you can gain an outsiders perspective of what that part of you is like by hearing back what was spoken. This supports you to separate from this aspect of your personality and see it as a part of you, bringing you into relationship with it as it sits represented in the room in front of you. We can then discuss the process, what is emerging, and what to do next. In this way we externalise and build a symbolic representation of your inner world on the carpet in the middle of the room.
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This process can be uniquely shame-lifting with compassion for ones-self naturally emerging as you begin to experience and see with greater clarity and perspective your inner parts and what drives your reactions and behaviours.
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You cannot get this wrong. With my holding and guidance you are invited to step into a part and direct your attention internally so that we can learn as much as we can about this part of you. We are working with your real direct experience and there is no pretending or 'right' way to do shadow work.
If there are inner blocks to the work we will work with the blocks. If there is resistance or risk that arises we will work with that. If the work is not flowing for you, we will find another way to work in order for you to explore the issue that you came to explore. The framework and tools are transparent and flexible, allowing you to experience a personal process in a way that is authentic and works for you.
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You are invited to explore and discover parts of yourselves you may have hidden, denied or repressed: parts of you you don't like, don't trust, judge harshly, feel shame about or are frightened of.
We move towards and engage with these parts of us knowing that what we place in shadow does not simply go away, but drives our behaviour unconsciously. It is often the parts of us in shadow that are the unconscious drivers behind the unhelpful behaviours, overwhelming emotions or troubling patterns in our lives.
And we move towards and engage with these parts of us knowing that when the work is sufficiently held, it is healing to bring them into the light of awareness, to get to know them intimately, attending to them and re-integrating them in a transformed way. It is through this approach that the difficulties with which you came to therapy are resolved.
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By making the unconscious conscious in this way we will have access to the thoughts, feelings and beliefs that govern your way of being in the world. In this way we can guide your process: feeling, experiencing and expressing your emotions, gaining clarity, understanding and new perspective, and bringing about the transformation or shift you are seeking.
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The whole process is guided by you and at every step you are completely in control of what happens or does not happen. We spend time exploring the parts that you think are most relevant, finding out as much information as we can about them.
Accessing the unconscious drivers, internal dynamics &
uncovering the relationships between parts
What also comes to light through this experiential process is the relationship between the parts of you and between parts of you and the people in your life. When in a part we are able to feel and experience the impact of other parts or people on that aspect of ourselves and this can provide much insight into what needs to shift within us.
For example, as I step into a part that feels shame, I may feel small, less than, and want to hide. From staying with these feelings, thoughts and emotions that are aspects of that part, I may become aware of a person or voice close by, judging me. I may be able to hear clearly the words being said and realise that they are loud and repeating and there is a sense that I cannot get away from them and I get to experience the impact of this inner voice or person on this part of me that falls into shame from time to time. This inner voice or person can also now be represented, bringing it into relationship so it can be worked with.
In this way, the wider dynamics (the relationships between these parts, or between an inner part and something outside of us) can be experienced and explored and through representation these dynamics become visible where before they were in shadow and below the level of awareness.
So, what emerges are the messages we are hearing from the people around us and how these impact us; metaphorical entities that are blocking our way forward, protecting us or holding us back; unhelpful patters of behaviour or ways of being, repeating relationship dynamics; and the truthful nature of the parts and inner relationships that comprise our inner world.
It is through representation and this parts framework that an effective way of relating with the aspects of self becomes available, and a space emerges to start to unravel and make sense of our emotions, drives, feelings and sensations.
Process work - Facilitated inner transformation
Once we have these unconscious dynamics, inner relationships and parts represented we can do something with them, we can work with them. This part of a session often involves some process work, working with the parts brought out on to the carpet.
Returning back to an ‘observer’ place off the carpet, you are able to look at yourself, your patterns and dynamics from a different perspective. It becomes clearer how these unconscious themes and experiences exist and are present in our inner world, and we are able to identify where in our outer lives and relationships these patterns are being repeated.
What is more, from this stepped back place we may begin to see and understand earlier impacting experiences in our lives, and how these are now repeating in our current lives and current relationships.
This opportunity to view the inner world as it is right now, represented symbolically in the room often leads to great insight, compassion for ourselves and our inner system of parts, and a clarity within which it becomes clearer what needs to happen in order for you to have the change that you are looking for and to move forward in your life. You will then be supported to step back onto the carpet, back into your inner world, and bring about those changes.
Working directly with parts of you or a dynamic playing out for you we are able to process strong or destructive emotions and stuck feelings; work through inner or outer conflict; facilitate expression of anger or grief; work with parts that are experiencing guilt, shame or holding onto traumatic memories; set or strengthen boundaries; meet, witness, hold, nurture and support vulnerability or parts of you you might find hard to accept; work with fear, over-protective parts, resistance and protective or controlling patterns of behaviour or other patterns that no longer serve; release limiting beliefs. Your process may involve delicate and sensitive Inner Child work. The nature of the work and what you want to have happen will naturally emerge.​
Our work together is an experiential and symbolic way to work with your inner life and goes beyond comprehension, finding experiential ways to move through, to support and to accept, providing an embodied process of exploration and healing. At all parts of this process, the decision of what will happen and how it will happen is made by you.
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The work in shadow work sessions is about more than the healing of deep emotional wounds. It is also about finding the gold that lies in those wounds. Somewhere within our deepest wounds we will find the greatest energies and the greatest gifts we have to offer the world.
Through this work you will learn that you have a core, an essence that is untouched by life's traumas. This core, this indwelling Self, the heart-centred leader, however it manifests for you emerges naturally and grows through the process of your work.
This Self holds the wonderful qualities of calmness and clarity, acceptance and compassion from which we can step more fully and consciously into our lives, in deeper alignment with the world, our purpose, and our true authentic nature.